On Saturday 5th March, I'll be doing the 15 minute Spotlight at Talking Zebras, with hopefully, some new material.
Thanks for visiting my web page.
2015 has been a quiet year on the poetry front, but enjoyed my afternoons at Talking Zebras and various evenings out at local Folk Clubs - especially Morley Folk and The Croppers.
Hoping to get back to writing in the New Year, but I'll leave you with this two and wish you a Merry Christmas...
'He's chubby and wise
And how his eyes glisten'
But… Sod Santa, I say
Not that anyone listens
His damn sleigh is a nuisance
With high whistles and bells,
The lights and the fog horn
And wet reindeer smells
The noise, the commotion
The hurry, the fuss
The shouting and cursing
As he flies dawn to dusk
And I don't need the sound
of the hooves on my roof
Nor the turds that they drop;
You know it's the truth
I won't leave mince pies,
Carrots or brandy
They're safe in my cupboard
With the snowballs and shandy
The mess that he makes
As he brings in the soot
I'd rather not dust
- Let the vacuum stay put
My chimney is blocked,
So spare his fat arse
Give Royal Mail some business
And send it First Class
You might think that I'm moody
And call me a Scrooge
But I don't like his beard
Or his suit of bold rouge
So, don’t send him to my house
Bearing your gift
Just bring your good self
That'll give me a lift
Brahms and Liszt
Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly
Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed
Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy
Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt
Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied
Ganted, gubbed, guttered
Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered,
Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered
Hammered, battered, caned, mangled
Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed
Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted
Wrecked, ruined. Munted, trashed
Liquified, marinated, juiced, sauced,
Steamed, pickled, fried
Cabbaged, mashed, cooked, baked
Boiled, stewed. Pie-eyed
Stinking. Howling. Pole-axed, floored
Under the influence. Off one's woo
Steampigged, badgered, ratted, goosed,
Clobbered. Lairy. Boogaloo
3 sheets to the wind. Away with the fairies
Under the table. Tight as a tick.
Ankled, wellied, trousered, legless,
Bevvied, swizzled, pot-sick.
One over the eight. Out nibbling the grape.
Rosy. Rummy. Poggled.
Jober as a sudge. Laughing at the carpet.
Seeing double. Boggled.
Lubricated, oiled, pixilated, ploughed
Intoxicated, inebriated. On the grog
Wobbly, jungled, off to the races
Lit up, shot down. Cocked as a log
As a lord, as a piper, as a fiddler, as a poet,
As a newt, as a monkey, as a skunk
As a sailor, as a mouse, as a pig, as a fart
Muddled. Fuddled. Or just plain drunk
Words and experiences, many of us share
And I'm sure there's a few that I've missed
But while some get "tired and emotional"
I just prefer to get…
I'm excited to be taking part in the following events:
30th September - "Recite your own poem competition" Wakefield LitFest
2nd October (National Poetry Day!) - Spoken Weird 2.4 at Bar Up, Halifax
4th October - Fundraiser at Cleckheaton Library for Kirkwood Hospice
8th October - Folk Night with Les Barker & Morley Folk (Morley LitFest)
12th October - Talking Zebras at Morley Literature Festival
Plus whenever I can at Talking Zebras, Morley Folk Club, The Croppers, Writeoutloud and whoever else will have me!
Thanks for visiting my web page.