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Thanks for visiting my web page.
2015 has been a quiet year on the poetry front, but enjoyed my afternoons at Talking Zebras and various evenings out at local Folk Clubs - especially Morley Folk and The Croppers. Hoping to get back to writing in the New Year, but I'll leave you with this two and wish you a Merry Christmas... Sod Santa! 'He's chubby and wise And how his eyes glisten' But… Sod Santa, I say Not that anyone listens His damn sleigh is a nuisance With high whistles and bells, The lights and the fog horn And wet reindeer smells The noise, the commotion The hurry, the fuss The shouting and cursing As he flies dawn to dusk And I don't need the sound of the hooves on my roof Nor the turds that they drop; You know it's the truth I won't leave mince pies, Carrots or brandy They're safe in my cupboard With the snowballs and shandy The mess that he makes As he brings in the soot I'd rather not dust - Let the vacuum stay put My chimney is blocked, So spare his fat arse Give Royal Mail some business And send it First Class You might think that I'm moody And call me a Scrooge But I don't like his beard Or his suit of bold rouge So, don’t send him to my house Bearing your gift Just bring your good self That'll give me a lift Brahms and Liszt Happy. Genial. Merry. Jolly Blottoed, blasted, etched and blitzed Mellow, foggy, hazy, squiffy Tipsy. Tiddly. Brahms and Liszt Dazed, zombied, tanked-up, trollied Ganted, gubbed, guttered Bladdered, blathered, leathered, plastered, Sozzled, sloshed, scuttered Hammered, battered, caned, mangled Spannered, mullered. Half-cut, lashed Twisted, warped, slammed, wasted Wrecked, ruined. Munted, trashed Liquified, marinated, juiced, sauced, Steamed, pickled, fried Cabbaged, mashed, cooked, baked Boiled, stewed. Pie-eyed Stinking. Howling. Pole-axed, floored Under the influence. Off one's woo Steampigged, badgered, ratted, goosed, Clobbered. Lairy. Boogaloo 3 sheets to the wind. Away with the fairies Under the table. Tight as a tick. Ankled, wellied, trousered, legless, Bevvied, swizzled, pot-sick. One over the eight. Out nibbling the grape. Rosy. Rummy. Poggled. Jober as a sudge. Laughing at the carpet. Seeing double. Boggled. Lubricated, oiled, pixilated, ploughed Intoxicated, inebriated. On the grog Wobbly, jungled, off to the races Lit up, shot down. Cocked as a log As a lord, as a piper, as a fiddler, as a poet, As a newt, as a monkey, as a skunk As a sailor, as a mouse, as a pig, as a fart Muddled. Fuddled. Or just plain drunk Words and experiences, many of us share And I'm sure there's a few that I've missed But while some get "tired and emotional" I just prefer to get…
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